Ah, today I will speak of the apology...hmmm, what do I mean by apology? I mean when someone says, "I'm sorry" but they're really not.
I'm sick of people thinking that if someone says "I'm sorry" then we are just supposed to jump up in the air, catch a rainbow, and do our happy dance, especially when the person apologizing continues slapping us in the face.
I heard on the news this morning, in regard to Fast and Furious (the gun scandal not the movie), that we should just move on from the issue because after all Mr. Holder apologized for the mission. Well, dang! Yup! there we go, let's forget about all the weapons smuggled (ie. given) to the cartels to murder and create terror. Forget that it was done with the hope that the blame would be laid at America's door step, so that Obama and the Democrats could try and take away more of our second amendment rights! Forget it because we said we're sorry. ...Well, thank you Mr. Holder for your apology, but you can stick it where the sun don't shine! ...no rainbows here, no happy dance, people died sir!
We have taught our children to say "sorry" even when they're not. What has that taught them? Does anyone wonder why we have such a generation of whiners who can't understand that an apology isn't going to fix the car when it's been wrapped around a pole? Or when they post naked pictures and foul remarks online for all the world to see? "Sorry Mr. Business who I want to hire me, but I was young and well, I DID apologize for it." We've taught them to expect respect regardless of what they do...I even caught myself apologizing the other day to a person so that they would feel better about themselves. I didn't do anything to warrant and apology and I wasn't sorry for what I had said, but to comfort them I said, "I'm sorry". It really bothered me at the time and obviously still does. Ah, the false apology did it really help?
I actually stopped making my kids apologize for doing something if they weren't sorry many years ago. Oh, I punished them for breaking a rule and eventually they would apologize, but if they had hit a kid who had hit them first why should they apologize? I wanted them to be sorry if they apologized. Perhaps it has made them seem a little more gruff because they won't say sorry if they're not, but I actually see their honesty as refreshing. We need to stop apologizing when we haven't done anything wrong. If we're right, or believe we're right, why on earth should we say we're sorry?
Some of the best advice I ever received was, "don't apologize during a speech". I would be making a point and then say, "I'm sorry but..." but what? If I was sorry would I be saying it? It's made my writing and public speaking much stronger; although, it puts me in the category of "tin foil hat...actually Queen of the tin foil hats" (people who don't like the truth usually resort to name calling or putting people in boxes...I don't think the person who calls me that even knows the definition of tin foil hat, but oh well, I wear it with pride). Speaking the truth is probably one of the hardest things to do, but once you do and get past the name calling--which is what people do when they've lost an argument-- it's liberating and wonderful. So what if someone doesn't like me because of my opinion...do I really want to be their friend if I have to be someone I'm not?
I've found that there will always be people who dislike you for having a definite opinion and people who will dislike you for your opinion, but in most instances you will have respect for standing up for what you believe. Take the criticism. Take the name calling. Take the loss of friends (you will make more). Learn to apologize when you've done something wrong or wronged someone, but stand firm and strong if you believe or know you're right.
Resistance only works when the resistance truly resists. Resist the false apology ... unless you're playing the game and infiltrating the enemy--then any means necessary. ...but that's a discussion for another time. ;)
Peace and blessings!
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